Yesterday, my 7-year-old son Solomon, sat crossed-legged in a chair and told me he knew of 13 girls who liked him. He proceeded to tell me their names. Now, I think this kid is pretty adorable, but thirteen girls?? Come on.

But I listened and nodded, and gave Solomon the desired, “ooohhs,” and “aaahhs,” and “wooooows”.

“Solomon, how does it make you feel that all these girls like you?”

“It’s weird mom. They stare at me in class and then want to play with me at recess. ” He twisted his pant leg in his fingers.

“Do you want to know why I think they like you?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Because you’re respectful and speak kind words to them. You use manners and care for others. You often hold the door open for people and wait your turn. You raise your hand in class and don’t blurt out. And you make the new kids feel welcome. I know you don’t always do these things, but you try. There’s a reason your teacher continues to place you in study groups with some of the disruptive kids in class—she thinks you can impact and influence them to make better choices.” (I also reminded him of healthy boundaries and that if he feels uncomfortable to let the girls know.)

Thermostat vs Thermometer

A long time ago, Markus explained to both our boys, a line he read in Martin Luther King Jr.’s, Letter from the Birmingham Jail. King talked about how we should be a thermostat instead of a thermometer. A thermometer becomes the temperature of what’s around it, while a thermostat, adjusts the temperature. Markus challenged our sons to be a thermostat every day, and adjust the temperature in each environment they find themselves. And now, Markus sends them off to school saying, “Go be a thermostat, boys, go be a thermostat.”

Solomon is a just a regular 2nd grader. He makes mistakes and sometimes gets into trouble at school and home. But something about his Dad’s words resonated with him and Solomon works hard to live into this charge.

“Keep it up, and the girls won’t leave you alone.”

I continued.

“When girls see boys like you respecting them, other friends, and their teachers, they take notice and want to be around them. Some boys, though not all, treat girls badly. They think girls can be picked on and teased. Other boys will make fun of girls or say and do mean things. Maybe you see this now in 2nd grade, but no doubt you’ll see it as you get older.” Solomon’s eyes were locked on mine.

“These boys treat girls this way because they think they are better than girls. And some girls think they are better than boys. But is that what God thinks?”

“No mom! God made girls and boys and loves them both the same!”

“That’s right buddy, that’s right. So, girls will be drawn to want to spend time with the boys who love them for who they are and how God made them. You and your brother are those guys. And I’m sorry to say this, but if you keep it up, the girls will never leave you alone.” His eyes grew wide with worry. I laughed to break the tension, and he breathed a sigh of relief, certain I was joking.

But I wasn’t. Because I know how girls feel.

A woman-respecting world begins at home.

We must train our boys to love women as equals, and understand that God made women different, but not less than. The Bible is clear on this. And a woman’s body is her own, and it’s not to be touched or gawked at by someone who thinks they have the right to.  It is our responsibility to train a new generation to love women and not see them as figures to grope or abuse, but as queens to hold high and esteem.

Let’s refuse to allow our young boys to think they are better than anyone else. Because if you think about it, this is how slavery began—a belief that “I” am better than “you”, which people translated as the right to treat certain people God made as less than. Who do we think we are? This “I” am better than “you” mindset is held by Harvey Weinstein, Louis C.K., Ben Affleck, Al Franken, Charlie Rose, Matt Lauer, and our own very own President, and that’s just a few celebrities and that’s just skimming the surface. This mentality is anti-Jesus, anti-human, and will be anti-Lloyd, as far as I’m concerned.

If we hear our children, boys or girls, talking down about women, or elevating themselves above her, we must stop it with a vengeance. We must remind them of the truths we know, and dismantle the lies we hear.

Let’s change our kid’s future workplaces, homes, and worlds, one kid at a time. Because a rising up of tomorrow’s men who respect women, begins with parents today.

How are you hoping to change our world to better respect women? I’d love to hear from you! Feel free to leave your thoughts below…