I found out I was pregnant when I was eighteen. A recent high school graduate, I was a Christian and a leader in my high school youth group. And I knew God was not in agreement with me as I considered abortion. But an unplanned pregnancy can cause someone who believes the Church will judge her for her sexual actions, to do anything to save face.

I stuffed any feelings of motherhood. I justified, I rationalized, and I made an appointment and terminated my pregnancy.

I told myself to be grateful to have my “problem” over with. So I went ahead with my life that summer and pretended none of this had happened.

But a few months after my abortion, in the silence of my bedroom, the Holy Spirit grabbed hold of my heart. He showed me the sin I had ignored and often defended. Seeing my sin now through the eyes of Jesus, made it no longer bearable. I desperately wanted to be free of its chains. So one summer night, I walked away from the boyfriend, and asked God to show me how to live the new life I so desperately wanted to live but had been too scared to try. Not only this, but I yearned for more of Jesus who embraced all of me. Judgment didn’t follow when He dropped the scales from my eyes. Rather, He was my Daddy in the grass, waiting for his little Lisa to waddle across the yard and into His outstretched arms. This was a love and a forgiveness I had never known.

But I have since wondered, “Why don’t God’s people do the same?”

The abortion message of the Church

When I faced my crisis pregnancy, the abortion message of the Church was clear: “Save the baby”, “Vote for life”, “End Roe v. Wade”. Whose life did I think mattered to the Church? Who were they focused on saving? The baby.

And this is still the message of the Evangelical Church today.

Our pro-life stance on abortion has clearly communicated to the unbelieving world and anyone facing a crisis pregnancy, that the baby alone truly matters. Our heart strings are pulled, as they should be, towards the innocent, unborn life, who didn’t choose to be unplanned. These pulled heart strings are why we emotionally elevate this sweet soul and fight for his or her life. And this is why so many people make abortion the only issue they vote on. And the life of this baby is incredibly valuable! Jesus loves this little boy or girl He created, and all babies should have a chance at life!

What we’ve missed

But our heart strings are not equally pulled when it comes to the value of the life of the woman contemplating abortion. As we subconsciously elevate ourselves above her sin, we see her beneath us as someone who got into trouble; a sinner who had sex outside of marriage and this is the consequence of her actions. Or we see her as someone who had a shot at life but is choosing to devalue the life of her baby. So we do the same to her.

We fail to consider the emotional or financial situation she is in: the mother of four who was just laid off; the teenager who fears her disappointed parents will say, “I told you so”; the young Christian adult who can’t bear the idea of being seen at church with a pregnant belly; the pregnant student who is in her final year of med school and about to launch her career; the physically abused woman who vowed to never bring a baby into her miserable world.

Her circumstances don’t justify taking life, but in the abortion conversation, her situation is seldom considered.

And if this woman does not see herself as valuable, she will never see the life inside her as such. If she never knows her God-given worth, if she never chooses the One who can turn her around as He did with me and countless others, she will most likely find herself right back in that women’s clinic, or taking the RU-486 abortion pill, because of another unexpected pregnancy.

A woman facing this crisis struggles to swim in the undertow of emotions that flood her heart. She’s fearful and anxious, overwhelmed and underprepared. Sometimes she’s thinking about the baby, but often times she’s just trying to swim to a life vest and save herself. So when she sees God’s people standing with signs outside a clinic or marching in Washington, or when she hears a one-sided anti-abortion sermon on “Sanctity of Life Sunday”, our message is loud and clear: “We don’t care about you, we just want your baby.”

The baby needs to be saved, but we cannot solely be focused on this sweet life alone. Our focus needs to be on the totality of the people involved.

Why? Because Jesus is focused on the baby and the woman.

Standing the in the middle of the political aisle

Jesus doesn’t value one suffering life over the other and neither should we. Our heartstrings must be pulled toward both if we want to reflect the image of God and make Him famous. Evangelical Christians must be about the salvation and saving of both lives. This is what I also call, “standing in the middle of the political aisle”. Because the political left wants to be about the suffering woman and the political right wants to be about the suffering baby. So Christians, who should value all life as Jesus does, should stand in the middle. It is counter political party to stand in the aisle, but it is fully Jesus. You can’t vote in the aisle, but you can sure live it.

So if we want to save lives in this country, it’s not just outlawing abortion, which needs to happen, it is also showing value to the life of the woman considering the abortion. If she were to know that she mattered, she might choose life for her baby. And both the woman and the baby are saved.

Emulating Jesus

If the Church would meet the emotional and physical needs of this woman, helping her in every way possible, and then met her spiritual needs, we would emulate the Jesus of the Bible. We have to change our judgmental minds when we see people in situations we think we would never stoop to. If God’s people would imitate the Lord, not distort His reputation with judgment, if we would act like the Church, the “ekklesia” – the called-out ones, different, middle of the aisle, we would see a lot more people coming to Christ and we would save a lot more babies, no matter which political party is in office. It’s not the government’s job to do what God has assigned the Church to do.

But as long as we continue to view abortion the way we always have, as long as we fight for the birth of baby alone and not also for the new-birth of the woman, the Church will continue to tarnish the image of Jesus in this world.

I’ve spent many nights wondering, “What if I had received a different message from the Church?” While my decision for abortion was mine, all mine, it’s hard to walk away from God’s people when they see, love, and value your life like Jesus does.

May the Church become the answer to the abortion problem in America.