I don’t know about you, but I could be having the best “mom” day, and then I do one thing that makes me feel like a “less than” mom, and my positive esteem about my mothering skills for the day is ruined.  “Bad mama”, right here? Yeah. Like the other day, our 3 year old, Solomon realized that it was a little after 8am and that our oldest, “Deuce” was now off at school. So the little tike came downstairs with his ambulance in hand and pitifully said, “Mama, Deuce is not hear-uh…will you puh-leeeeeease play amboolance wit me?” To which I, now strewn with guilt, pitifully replied back , “Awww buddy, I’ve got to get ready for work. But you can come play on the floor in the bathroom while I put my makeup on.” With tears in his eyes he replied, “Nooooo Mommy, it’s not da saaaaaammmmmme.” Guilt? Yes.  Boo. Hiss.

And don’t you just feel guilty when you wanna feed your kids healthy foods, but the price tag on that stuff is rid-donku-lous?! I’ve been reading about all the pesticides sprayed on fruits and veggies. And I see the pictures posted on Facebook of the pesticide spray-men with the snout masks of protection and a caption underneath that reads, “If they can’t breathe it, why should we eat it?!” So feeling guilty that I was knowingly feeding my kids pesticides at breakfast as they gobbled up another strawberry, I committed to buy all organic. UNTIL! The next time I went to Kroger and saw that the price of the pesticide-laden strawberries were $2, but the organic ones were 89 friggin’ bucks! (I exaggerate, but you get my point!) So unless my kids were going to eat one strawberry as a meal, at each meal for the rest of the week, then yes, you know what I did, put the pesticide filled berries in my cart. And the thought that enters my brain as I walk away from the berry cooler: “Now I know that when they have a terminal disease at the age of 40, it will be my fault because of the dern berries.” Guilt? Heck yeah. Boooo. Big hissssss.

I could go on and on with more “guilt” stories and I’m sure you could add to my list. But I started to wonder, “Why do I feel so guilty as a mom. Ev. Ree.day.?” And it hit me that it’s because I LOVE my kids. Like a crazy ridiculous kinda love. Like I would literally step out in the way of a bus to protect them, you know what I mean? And I want the BEST thing for my kids. The absolute best because I love them so much. And then it hit me, “What if I, LISA LLOYD really am THE BEST THING for my kids? Me! With all my mess, and all my pitfalls and all my mistakes, really am the BEST thing for my kids. Because when I think about it, God didn’t make a mistake when He gave me my kids. He didn’t accidently give me “Deuce” and Solomon and then look at another lady and say, “Aw crap! I meant to give “Deuce” and Solomon to Ms Miller. Bummer. Well, we’re just gonna have to see how this plays out.” No, crazy! God gave me MY kids on purpose for this season of their lives. And because God doesn’t make mistakes and because He loves my kids even more than I do (hard to imagine, but it’s true), the fact that He thought I was the mama for these 2 crazies gives me a little hope that someone has faith in me as a mom, even though, I don’t.

And you know, God has given you and I gifts and talents and strengths that make us super unique and special. These are the things we do that just come naturally to us without thinking: we give encouraging words, we have excellent time management skills , or maybe a heart for serving, etc. And because these gifts are so second nature to us, we tend to incorporate them into our parenting without even thinking about it.  And therefore these are often the things that make us really good moms. But because they are so easy, we don’t give ourselves credit for doing them. And if you’re anything like me, I tend to focus on the all the bad crap I’ve done that day that will surely ruin my kids forever, instead of focusing on what I do really WELL as a mom.

So what is it that YOU do well as a mom? Maybe you love books and are passing that love onto your children. Maybe are well organized and you’re showing your kids how to be the same. Maybe you love worshipping God in creation and you are naturally showing your kids the awesomeness of God as you are going. Whatever it is, you are probably naturally doing GREAT things for your kids, which in turn makes you a GREAT mom. But maybe you’ve never celebrated this about yourself before.

When we wallow in the guilt of being a “less than, mom” we rob our kids, of who we really are and who we’ve been created to be. We feel depressed and sad and guilty. And I know when I’m living in that world, I’m not the best for my kids. But! When I live into my gifts and strengths and into who God has created me to be, I’m encouraged and uplifted and my kids get the best “me” I have to offer.

So the next time that little “guilt guy” sits on your shoulder to tell you that neighbor “Miss Pintrest-pants” has it all together and that you should be more like her, give that little booger your “mama middle finger” and tell him to get lost. And remember that you are doing a GREAT job as a mom.  Celebrate who you are and the gifts God’s given YOU! Go get em tiger!!